I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
