You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
