I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
