Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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