I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
