these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
