toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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