I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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