The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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