I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
