Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
