and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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