haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
