All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
