the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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