I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
