I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Randomize
