dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
