that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
