What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
