we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
