butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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