is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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