I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
