I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
