he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
