he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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