Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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