Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
