I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
