Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Even my vagina gasped.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
