You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
