dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
