Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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