why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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