dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
