Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
