Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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