FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
