I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
