he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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