Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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