TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
