he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
