He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Randomize
