I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
