so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
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