I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
