Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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