..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
