nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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