well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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