We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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