Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
