he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
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